(Cluj-Napoca, Transylvania) As millions of Twilight fans eagerly await the November 20 release of New Moon, the second film adaptation of the popular Twilight novel series, the Vampire Center for Disease Control and Prevention (VCDC) is urging
young male vampires to refrain from going shirtless due to the dangers of sun exposure.

“Since the Twilight craze began, we’ve had a record number of sun-related deaths in the global vampire population. While the attractive vampires in Twilight make it tempting to go shirtless in order to attract naive females, we must resist the urge to expose our chiseled, pale abs and continue avoiding the deadly sun,” said VCDC President Cornelius Alucard during a midnight press conference Tuesday.

Since the first Twilight film was released in 2008, over 12,000 male vampires between the ages of 16 and 28 have been
diagnosed with sun-related illnesses, with over 2,000 sun-related deaths reported since the New Moon trailer was released in May. For many young vampires, the temptation of feasting on the blood of a young female blinded by Twilight mania has caused them to throw caution to the wind, abandoning the established vampire tradition of avoiding direct contact with the sun.

“The idea of going shirtless may seem sexy and exciting, but exposing your bare torso for even a few seconds, no matter how hunky it may be, can lead to serious illnesses and even death,” warned Alucard. “Many young vampires are even attempting to get a tan to make their pale flesh more attractive. This is sheer madness.”

Nineteen-year-old Kristoph Belmont knows firsthand the dangers of the sun. After seeing the first Twilight movie, Belmont worked hard to completely revamp his appearance, growing a stylish mane of uncombed hair and working out twice a day to obtain a toned physique similar to Twilight’s male heartthrobs. But he didn’t stop there. Once his new look was complete, Belmont began hanging out in the woods with an 18-year-old girl, often wearing an unbuttoned polo shirt.

“I knew it wasn’t safe, but it was hard to deny the feeling I’d get standing in the mid-afternoon sun, the wind blowing through my unkempt hair and the direct sunlight hitting my milky white chest. I was getting so much blood, I felt unstoppable,” said Belmont.

The feeling didn’t last long. On July 13, Belmont had to be rushed to a vampire treatment facility due to dangerous levels of sun exposure.

“His ultraviolet levels were off the charts,” said Dr. Draco Thunderstang, a physician at Bram Stoker Hospital in Transylvania. “It’s a miracle he didn’t violently burst into flames.”

While Belmont learned his lesson the hard way, the VCDC hopes more young vampires will think before they head outside shirtless. With much of New Moon’s plot focusing on shirtless, hunky werewolves, Alucard hopes the shirtless vampire trend is coming to an end.

“Vampires can be alluring to the opposite sex without sinking to Hollywood’s level of exposing skin,” said Alucard. “We are not Matthew McConaughey.”